Life Begins at 35
by Vol lady
Summary: Jarrod turns 35 in a midlife funk, that only gets funkier when he rescues an injured woman whose own life is full of misleading twists and turns.
1. Chapter 1

Life Begins at 35

Chapter 1

Coming out of the fog of his dreadful 34th year – a year in which he was blinded in an explosion, shot in the back, met and married and lost the love of his life, endured the return of his first love who was the biggest betrayal of his life and struggled to get by the temptation to rely on drink to get him over the hump – Jarrod Barkley let his 35th birthday be the celebration of all the people who had seen him through that 34th year. He asked for no gifts, but he gave gifts to his family and even to Silas, in thanks for seeing him through the hard times. It was a celebration to get himself and everyone around him back to some kind of normal life. It was the celebration he wanted to have.

But then the high of gratitude came down, and he had to go on and finish the job of repentance and repair. As much as he had cleared his life up in the past year, he knew the job wasn't finished. Now he was beginning to have doubts, old ones resurfacing and new ones coming in. Doubts about himself and who he was. Doubts about ever having a family of his own. Doubts about his profession – he knew he wanted to be a lawyer and definitely not a politician, but what kind of lawyer, and where? Should he go into semi-retirement and just do the family work, giving up the practice in San Francisco, or should he do just the opposite, concentrate on San Francisco and move there, doing the family work on the side but giving up the private Stockton practice?

In short, he was having doubts about the whole world and his place in it.

He dragged himself to his office in San Francisco for an entire month, trying to get the enthusiasm back for his work and for his life and to answer the question about whether he wanted to move here for good, but the answer and the enthusiasm just wouldn't come. He did what he needed to do there and actually wrapped up all his cases, then made his way back to Stockton on the train. All the way to Stockton, he thought about how to shake himself out of these midlife doldrums. Should he be looking at minor changes to his life or major ones? Surely he couldn't just keep coasting along as he had been since becoming a lawyer and establishing a life of one foot in the Barkley family and empire, and one foot in a separate legal world. It wasn't working. It wasn't giving him the life he wanted.

He went to his office in Stockton before he went home. No one was there, but his secretary had been keeping up with the mail, and on his desk he found one thing in particular that needed attention. He sighed, not really happy about it but it was from a very devoted client, a man with homes in both San Francisco and Los Angeles, and the client must really have wanted him because Jarrod saw the telegram had been sent that morning to both his Stockton and San Francisco offices. This telegram was from Los Angeles. Jarrod didn't want to go to Los Angeles, but at least the wire didn't want him to go there. It asked him to travel to Barstow, a fairly young town on the edge of the desert. It asked him to see a man named Musgrave about a swath of property on the outskirts of Barstow that Jarrod's client wanted to purchase. The wire asked Jarrod to negotiate and close the deal because the client was otherwise tied up for several weeks. It didn't give him any instructions about how to do that – he would just have to wire his client in Los Angeles back and forth as the negotiations progressed. Jarrod hated working like that and he wondered why his client just didn't hire a lawyer in Los Angeles to handle this, but then this client was finicky and he did not trust people he did not know well.

The bigger trouble was that there was no train service to Barstow. Jarrod would either have to check out stage service or take himself there on horseback, and it was a long trip either way. Maybe he could cut it shorter by taking trains as far south as they would go and renting a mount to finish the trip up, but then he thought about it. Maybe a long trip by horseback was just what the doctor ordered. Time could heal. Maybe some long, slow time would help heal him and his doldrums.

No. It wouldn't. It was foolish to think of this trip as some life changer. It was just another job for a client.

Jarrod decided on taking the train as far as he could, then going on horseback. Jarrod wired his office in San Francisco to tell his secretary he had received this telegram from his client, and he wired his client in Los Angeles to tell him he would start for Barstow in the morning, but it would take several days to get there. He left a note about his plans for his secretary here, then he talked to Chad at the train depot about how best to get closest to Barstow. He bought tickets for the next day's train to a town called Lancaster. It would still take nearly three days to get from Lancaster to Barstow, but it was the quickest way to go overall. Then he rented a buggy to carry his briefcase and suitcase home, and headed for the ranch.

"Hey, there, Jarrod, we weren't really expecting you," Nick said as Jarrod pulled up into the stable yard. Nick and Heath had both just come in for the day.

Jarrod checked his watch after climbing down out of the buggy. It was four in the afternoon. He didn't even realize it was that late. "Yeah, I just finished my work in San Francisco and decided to come home," Jarrod said, "and it's just as well. I had another errand waiting for me at my office in town."

Heath and Nick both frowned. Heath said, "Another job? You look pretty tired as it is, Big Brother."

"I am pretty tired," Jarrod admitted, "but it's for an important client."

Ciego came out of the stable, saying, "I'll take care of that rig for you, Senor Jarrod."

"Thank you, Ciego," Jarrod said. He pulled his briefcase out of the back, along with the small suitcase of some personal items, and started into the house.

Nick and Heath looked at each other and then followed along. Inside, Jarrod left the items he was carrying by the foot of the stairs, out of the way. He went to the refreshment table and poured himself some scotch, but only a small one. He took it to his "thinking chair" while Nick poured whiskey for himself and Heath.

"Bad time in 'Frisco?" Nick asked.

"No, not particularly," Jarrod said. "Just – tired."

"Is this next errand gonna take you out of town again?" Heath asked.

"Yeah, to Barstow," Jarrod said.

Nick and Heath looked at each other. "Barstow?" Nick said. "You can't even get there from here."

"Hmm," Jarrod said, staring into the empty fireplace, sipping his scotch.

"How _do_ you plan to get there?" Nick asked.

"Train to Lancaster and then horseback," Jarrod said. "I'm sorry to just flop for the night and then run, but I'll have to leave in the morning." Then he noticed something. "Where are Mother and Audra?"

"Gone off to Portland," Heath said.

"Oregon?" Jarrod was surprised. "All the way to Portland, Oregon and nobody told me?"

"They just left the day before yesterday."

"Why?" Jarrod asked. "Has something happened?"

"Mother got a letter from somebody she grew up with who came west on the Oregon trail years ago and just stayed there," Heath said. "She and Mother had been writing to each other, and now this lady has taken sick and needs help, so Mother and Audra went up to see what they could do."

"Mother wrote you, but you probably didn't get the letter before you left," Nick said.

Jarrod grunted. That seemed likely. "When are they due back?"

"We don't know. She said she'd write when she got there and saw what was happening."

Jarrod muttered. He looked into his scotch like he wanted more, but then he just finished it off and put the glass down on the coffee table.

Heath got up. "Well, I'm gonna clean up for dinner." He gave Nick a look before he left the room and headed upstairs.

Nick leaned back in his chair and wondered how to talk to his older brother, who was just staring into the fireplace again. "Want to talk about it?" he ended up asking.

"Nothing to talk about," Jarrod said. "I'm just tired."

"Of work? Of San Francisco? Of the thought of going to Barstow?"

"Of everything," Jarrod admitted quietly. Then he said, "I think I'll take a bit of a walk before dinner, clear my head."

"Want company?" Nick asked.

"No," Jarrod said. "I have some thinking to do."

"I thought you said you wanted to clear your head, not clog it up some more."

Jarrod actually chuckled a little as he got up. "Clear it, then maybe clog it up some more."

Nick stood up, too. "Don't go making any big decisions on an empty stomach."

Jarrod gave his younger brother's arm a slap. He appreciated the worry in Nick's eyes, but right now he could only make it worse if he kept talking. "I already made the big one. I'm going to Barstow in the morning. See you at dinner," he said and headed out the front door.

XXXXXXXX

It was close to seven when Nick and Heath sat down to dinner. Jarrod had still not come in from his walk, and they were both a little bothered about that.

"He didn't seem like a happy man," Heath said.

"No, he didn't," Nick agreed. "Things must have been rougher in San Francisco than he's letting on, or he really doesn't want to go to Barstow."

"No, things weren't any rougher than usual in San Francisco," Jarrod's voice said as the elder statesman around here came into the dining room and sat down.

"Maybe that's what the problem is," Heath said. "The usual is rougher than it used to be."

"That's not quite the way to put it, but you're on the right track," Jarrod said and thanked Silas for pouring him some coffee. Jarrod sat for a moment, his folded hands in front of him, looking off further down the table but not really looking at anything. "This time last year I was blind. I was having to deal with finding my way around the simplest of places without breaking my neck, and I was scared. God, I was scared. I was sure I'd never see the light of day again, and when you all tried to help shake me out of it by getting me back into the courtroom, I hated you." Jarrod looked up at his brothers. "I really did hate you for that."

Nick and Heath looked away.

Before they could say anything, Jarrod went on. "But you were right. You got me going again, and miracle of miracles, my vision returned. Just in time for me to take a bullet in the back from the Dunigan brothers. Laid low again for weeks, working my way back to strength in time to go to Washington for our Congressman, and again, miracle of miracles, I met Beth on the train."

Jarrod stopped. He couldn't talk about Beth or what happened to her, or to him. That was too much to rehash. That was too much to even think about, and maybe that was part of the problem. He had never really resolved all that in his soul. Jarrod realized he had never even cried.

Jarrod went on. "And then there was Julia Saxon."

He left that there, too. He hadn't really talked much about her or about Matt Parker and the guilt he felt over Matt's death. He didn't want to open up that can of worms now either.

Jarrod heaved a breath. "And then there was getting over all that. Well, let's just say that turning 35 has put me in the middle of my life, and right now, despite all the repair work I've done, I'm just not happy where that is. I need to make some more adjustments, and I need to make them now. Maybe traveling to Barstow will help me clear out the cobwebs and figure out the second half of my life."

Nick and Heath looked at each other, very uncomfortably.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Nick said to Jarrod, "How long do you think you'll be gone?"

"Just traveling is going to take a while," Jarrod said. "I don't know how long finalizing this deal is going to take once I get there. You better not count on me for three weeks at least, maybe four or five if these negotiations don't go well."

"What is it? A land deal?"

"Yeah, and you know how they can get." He sounded exhausted just thinking about it.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Heath asked.

"He's been a very good client for a long time. I can't let him down, and frankly, a good long time away from an office with only one client on my mind has a certain appeal."

"You better keep us up to date on where you are," Nick said.

"Lancaster first, and I'll wire you as soon as I get to Barstow," Jarrod promised. "And when I leave there."

"Come home as soon as you can," Nick said. "We don't have any idea when Mother and Audra will return, and Silas is likely to get testy with just me and Heath to ramrod."

Jarrod chuckled. "Silas can handle you both with one hand tied behind his back."

"Jarrod," Heath said very earnestly, "you _are_ gonna come home, aren't you?"

Jarrod took on a look in his eyes that made Nick sit up straight. "Don't tell me you're thinking about moving out of here," Nick said.

Jarrod sighed. "Nick, I'm not thinking of anything in particular except taking care of my client. Beyond that – " He hesitated. "I'll be thinking about whatever comes to mind." He noticed how uncomfortable he was making his brothers. "Come on, now," Jarrod said. "Nobody said we were all going to live here together forever, did they?"

"If anybody's inclined to move on, you are," Heath said. "You're gone a lot of the time anyway."

Jarrod became very serious. "If Beth had lived, we'd have moved out by now. Not far away from here. Just into a home of our own. I – " He couldn't finish the sentence. He had wanted to make that move very much. Maybe part of him still wanted to make the move, even without Beth. He hadn't really thought about that, staying in Stockton but moving into a place of his own, or even moving to someplace other than San Francisco, but they did have to be part of his thoughts. He just hadn't let any of that settle in until Heath said what he said about not coming home.

Nick and Heath looked at each other. Nick said, "Just give it a _lot_ of thought if leaving here starts to settle into your mind. A lot."

"I promise, I will," Jarrod said. "And if I did move out of Stockton, it would probably be to San Francisco and definitely not to Barstow. Now, let's get the subject off me. What's been going on around here since I've been gone?"

"Nothing as exciting as what's been going on in your head," Nick said.

They went on to eating then, and not talking. Suddenly, there didn't seem to be a whole lot to say.

XXXXXXX

Nick and Heath rode into town with Jarrod in the morning. Jarrod had gathered himself, his clothing and his personal items into a fat bedroll and overloaded saddlebags – not an ideal way for a lawyer to travel but since the last of this trip was going to be on horseback, it would have to do. Jarrod dismounted at the train depot and unloaded his bedroll and saddlebags. "The train will be getting into Lancaster late two days from now, so I'll stay over there and head to Barstow the day after," Jarrod said. "It'll take a few more days on horseback to get to Barstow, so don't expect to hear from me before the end of the week. Oh, and be sure to tell Mother what I'm up to when you write to her."

Nick and Heath had dismounted too, and they shook hands with Jarrod to wish him well. "Good luck with your client – and your head," Nick said.

Jarrod gave a laugh. "I'll do my best for both, Nick."

"Give a yell if you need us," Heath said.

"Since it would take you four or five days minimum to get down there to help me, I have a feeling I'm going to have to take care of my own problems," Jarrod said, "but I really don't expect to have any."

"Unless you make them for yourself," Nick said with a stern eye.

"I won't do that," Jarrod said. "I'll wire you as soon as I get to Barstow and find out what's what. I ought to be able to give you some idea of when I'll be back then."

"Just travel safe," Heath said.

Jarrod headed up to the depot and was into the building's waiting area in just a few moments. His brothers watched him disappear, Nick with a very uneasy look.

Nick said, "That man makes me awful nervous sometimes."

"Me, too," Heath said. "But, he's a big boy. He's on his own a lot. He'll probably be fine."

"He better be," Nick said.

XXXXXXXX

The trip to Lancaster seemed to take forever. He had to change trains in San Francisco and had time for a brief walk that almost made him want to just stay there, but no, he didn't want that. When the train finally arrived in Lancaster, it was late. Jarrod got a room and dinner and saw virtually nothing of Lancaster before renting a horse and setting out for Barstow the next morning.

Dumb idea, traipsing across the desert alone, he thought fairly quickly. It was 75 miles to Barstow with only few rinky-dink towns on the way. But Jarrod made sure he had plenty of water, plenty of food, and the man he rented the horse from at the livery drew him out a pretty good little map on how to get to Barstow by securely getting to towns and watering holes. And being late winter/early spring, there would be water at the watering holes. There was something beautiful about the desert, too. Plants were starting to bloom. The man at the livery said there had been several good rains over the winter and that would bring the flowers out.

It was refreshing. It did his soul good to see some color, to ease his way through the occasional town. He took no liquor at all along the way, and that actually felt pretty darned good after all the difficulty he'd had with "the juice" during his 34th year. He enjoyed the fresh air, the warmth, the color, everything, without thinking the deep troubling thoughts that had plagued him lately. He just took in the world. He didn't let it take him in.

A little over halfway to Barstow, he passed through the last small town he expected to come to and moved on to the next watering hole about 20 miles away. He rested his horse and himself there for a good hour before heading out again – and within half an hour, he was sorry he hadn't moved out faster.

He came upon the wrecked buggy somewhat unexpectedly. It was in a gully, on its side, one wheel cracked and useless. There was no horse. Traveling bags from the back of the buggy had fallen off and split open, and the things that were in them – clothes and even some paper money - had been spread across the terrain by the wind and was still blowing out of reach. And there was the body of a woman, lying in the shade of the wrecked buggy.

Jarrod jumped down, tethered his horse and hurried to the woman's side. Afraid she was dead, he touched her gingerly – and jumped back when she jumped up with a blurt, and then with a gun she pointed right at him.

"Whoa!" he said, raising his hands. "Take it easy, there! I'm not going to hurt you! I was afraid you were hurt or even dead!"

The woman seemed a few years younger than he was but not young, not a girl. The hand holding the gun shook but not out of fear. Jarrod could see now that she was hurt, blood on the side of her face and on her left sleeve. "Who are you? What do you want?" she asked quickly.

"My name is Jarrod Barkley," he said. "I'm a lawyer, on my way to Barstow from Stockton to take care of some business for a client. I'm not going to hurt you. I want to help you."

She lowered the gun and dropped it on the ground with a thump. When she started to tip over again, Jarrod got hold of her by the shoulders and maneuvered her to sit with her back against the buggy.

"Let me get you some water," Jarrod said, hurried back to his horse and brought his canteen to her. She drank greedily. "How long have you been stranded like this?" he asked.

"I don't know," she said as Jarrod took the canteen back from her.

She was dressed much like his mother would have dressed when she traveled like this, Jarrod realized. _Crazy women, traveling alone,_ he thought, but at least, having endured his mother doing it for years, he knew what he was dealing with here. "You're hurt," he said. "You'd better let me take a look at you."

"No," she protested.

"Your sleeve is already torn," Jarrod said. "Let me have a look and doctor it if need be."

"How do I know I can trust you?"

"You have to trust me," Jarrod said. "I'm your only help for miles around, and you need help."

She withered a bit, weak.

Jarrod had her take a little more water. "Let me help you," he said. "I promise, I'm harmless."

He gave her a slight smile. She looked at him, and she gave a slight smile back. "You better be," she said, but she gave him her arm so he could look at it.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Jarrod carefully tore the woman's sleeve that was already torn, noticing closely for the first time that she wore a wedding ring. He wondered why she was out here alone if she was married, but he didn't pursue that issue now. He was gentle with examining the injury, but she still flinched. "It's a nasty gash, but I don't think it's broken," Jarrod said. Then he looked at the gash on her forehead. "That's not nearly as bad. Were you unconscious at all?"

"I don't know," she said. "I suppose I was. My horse is gone and I don't know where she went."

"Headache?"

"Yes, some. And my arm."

"I have some medical supplies with me. Let's see if I can tend and bandage that arm until we can get you to a doctor."

Jarrod went back to his horse, fished a small package out of the saddlebags and brought it back down into the gully. Kneeling down with the woman again, he took a small bottle out of the package and a roll of bandage. He wet the bandage somewhat with astringent from the bottle and dabbed at the wound on the woman's head.

"Ow!"

"I'm sorry, but we'd better clean these wounds," Jarrod said and then cleaned the arm wound, too. Then he took the bandage and wound it around the woman's arm injury. "Is this everything? Have you hurt your back or your legs or anything?"

"No, this is all I notice, at least until I try to get up," she said.

Jarrod finished winding the cloth around her arm wound, tore the end of the roll and tied the bandage off. "There we are," he said. "All set until we can get to Barstow and a doctor."

"I don't mean to take you out of your way," she said.

"Not a problem," Jarrod said. "It's the closest town, and that's where I was going anyway. How about you? Where were you going?"

"I was going to Barstow too," she said. Then, as if she was uncertain about telling him any more, she did say, "My brother is in the army. He's been transferred there."

Jarrod waited for more, but he finally had to ask. "And might you favor me with your name?"

"Oh," she laughed a little. "Alice Bowles, Mr. Barkley. Alice will do."

"Then Jarrod will do," Jarrod said. "Are you ready to try to get up?"

"If you'll help me."

Jarrod tucked her gun under his belt, put the bottle of astringent back into its small package and pocketed the package before he helped Alice to her feet. She swayed.

"Easy does it," Jarrod said, holding onto her. "Are you dizzy?"

"It's passing," she said.

"Do you think you can ride with me?"

"If you'll keep me upright in the saddle."

"I think I can do that," Jarrod said. "Now, listen. There's no moon tonight and we can't travel safely in the dark. It'll be too rough in an hour or so. I don't think you need a doctor so fast that we need to risk it. We'll have to bed down for the night and get to Barstow in the morning. Are you up to that?"

Alice nodded. "I'll be all right."

Jarrod helped her up out of the gully to his horse and then up into the saddle. She was not nearly as tall as he was, and her feet didn't come anywhere near the stirrups. Jarrod told her to hold onto the horn as he climbed up behind her, put his arms around her and took the reins. She held tight to the horn.

"Relax, now," he said. "Don't hold on so tight. You don't need to, and it'll aggravate that arm injury. I'll keep you from falling."

"Thank you for the rescue, Jarrod," Alice said.

"It's my pleasure," Jarrod said, "although I'm sorry you needed it."

He gave his horse a kick into a gentle cantor. The darkness began to set in fast, and Jarrod found another watering hole that they were able to camp next to. He got Alice down and secure before he unsaddled the horse. He made a bed for her out of the underside of his saddle and his bedroll blanket. She got a look at the clothing he had rolled up in there and set aside – a suit and a fancy shirt, for heaven's sake. "You really are a lawyer," she said.

Jarrod laughed as he helped her stand up. "I really am."

Alice was strong enough to take care of her ablutions before she settled down against the saddle and Jarrod covered her up with the blanket. It was starting to get pretty cold out here. "You don't have anything to stay warm with," she said.

Jarrod pointed to the saddle blanket on the ground. "Don't worry, I'll be fine. You rest. I'll start a fire before we lose the light completely, then settle the horse and prepare us a little food."

Jarrod sought out some firewood – you couldn't find the best in the desert, but he scrounged up enough for a fire. As he got it started, Alice spoke up again. "Jarrod, why are you going to Barstow?"

"For a client," Jarrod said.

"You've come a long way from Stockton."

"I have an office in San Francisco, too. My client is one of my San Francisco people."

"I've heard of your family," Alice finally admitted. "That is, if you are one of those Stockton Barkleys."

"I am," Jarrod said. "My brothers run the ranch up there. I take care of the business end and my own private law practice."

"How is it you're coming from this direction and not from the north?"

"The quick way was to take a train to Lancaster and a horse from there. Someday soon there will be a railroad to Barstow, but not just yet. Now, your turn – what were you doing out here alone?"

Alice hesitated before answering. "I had no one to escort me."

Jarrod paused and came back over, squatting down next to her. "Forgive me, but I couldn't help notice your wedding ring. Your husband wouldn't come with you?"

Alice looked at her finger, as if she hadn't realized he'd see the ring. Jarrod wondered if she had meant to take it off and forgot. "No, he wouldn't come with me," Alice said and left it at that.

Jarrod said, "We ought to notify him about what happened when we get to Barstow."

"I'll take care of that," Alice said. "Once we get to Barstow, you won't need to worry with me anymore."

Jarrod smiled. "It's no worry. If I can do anything for you while I'm in Barstow, just let me know."

She looked at him as if she were surprised he was offering. "That's very kind of you," she said.

Jarrod said, "I'll make us some coffee and some trail grub. I'm sorry I only have trail grub."

"That's all right," she said. "Can I do anything to help?"

Jarrod stood up. "No, you just rest, let me take care of everything. I prefer to be a proper host."

Alice laughed. Jarrod noticed she had a nice laugh.

XXXXXXX

Alice started to fidget, moan and mumble during the night, waking Jarrod up. He had fallen asleep with his back against a rock so was pretty well sitting up when he came around. His first thought on hearing her was that she might be turning feverish. The fire was not entirely out yet, which told him it was still somewhere around midnight. He fed it some more wood to increase the light, then went to her.

He felt her forehead with the back of his hand. She wasn't feverish, and his touch woke her up. "What - ?"

"It's just Jarrod," he said quickly. "You were crying out in your sleep and I thought you might have developed a fever, but you haven't. You were just having a bad dream."

"Oh – " she said, remembering. "I was back in the buggy, turning over. Oh, my."

"Just rest easy," Jarrod said. "You're all right."

She still did not look easy. He touched her forehead again. She was sweating this time, but it wasn't from fever.

"Is there anything else I can do to make you more comfortable?" Jarrod asked.

She hesitated, but said, "No." Then she lay there with her eyes open, staring up at the stars.

Jarrod sensed it wasn't just the dream that woke her up. He looked up to where she was looking. "The stars are beautiful in the desert, aren't they? Too much extra light in a town. It's getting to the point you can't even see the Milky Way unless you come out here."

"Yes," Alice said quietly. "I do like the desert. The quiet, the darkness, the solitude."

Jarrod said, "I'm sorry I had to interrupt your solitude."

Alice laughed a little. "I'm not. My solitude got me into trouble. You've been kind and a gentleman, Jarrod." Then she looked at him as if it was a warning that he should stay that way.

Jarrod said, "I pride myself on being a gentleman and have no intentions of taking any kind of advantage of this situation. Please believe me."

"I do. I'm sorry if it seemed I didn't."

"A wise woman would be nervous with a strange man out here alone," Jarrod said. "But put your mind at ease. If I were going to make a move, I'd have made it long before now."

Alice smiled. "I'm not used to kind gentlemen coming to my rescue."

Jarrod looked at her wedding ring, reflecting the firelight. "I'm sorry to hear that. I would have hoped you had such a husband."

"No," Alice said. "Hiram is not always a gentleman."

"Pardon me for being nosy," Jarrod said and dropped the subject.

But Alice said, "You're not married."

Jarrod hesitated, but said, "I'm a widower."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

Jarrod hesitated again, but said, "My wife died soon after we were married, so perhaps we never got to the point you and your husband seem to have reached."

Alice was quiet for a bit, but then said, "I'm out here alone because I've left him."

Jarrod wasn't surprised.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Jarrod didn't press about Alice leaving her husband. If she wanted him to know anything more, she'd tell him, and frankly, he wasn't all that anxious to get involved in someone else's bad marriage. They pretty much quit talking after Jarrod said he was sorry, and Alice quickly fell back to sleep. Jarrod was awake thinking for a while, wondering how bad a marriage it was that drove Alice out here in the desert alone. He also found himself hoping that if Alice's husband Hiram was coming after her, he wouldn't catch up before they reached Barstow. He mentally computed that it wouldn't take long to get to Barstow in the morning, so he relaxed a bit. He finally fell asleep himself.

Jarrod was awake before the sun came up, but the sky was lightening in the east. The fire had gone out, so Jarrod rebuilt it and put coffee on. He put on some ham he had with him, and soon the fragrances woke Alice up. As she stirred, Jarrod said, "Good morning."

"Oh, good morning," she said as if she had forgotten he was out here with her. She looked around, climbed to her feet saying, "Pardon me for a bit," and disappeared behind some rocks.

When she came back, Jarrod had a cup of coffee ready for her. "A slice of ham isn't much of a breakfast, I know," he said, handing her the coffee, "but I figure it won't take us more than two hours or so to get to Barstow now. You said your brother was transferred to the garrison there?"

"Yes," she said.

"Well, I understand the camp is another twenty miles or so east of Barstow. Would you like me to take you there after you see the doctor?"

"No, no, that's all right," Alice said.

Jarrod gave her a slice of ham on a piece of bread, folded in half. "We'll have to get you some transportation."

"I'll manage," she said.

Jarrod smiled. "You're a very independent woman."

"Well, Hiram wasn't the kind of husband who shared much of his time with me and I learned to look after myself. He probably hasn't even noticed I've gone yet."

"I'm sorry," Jarrod said.

"Don't be," Alice said.

Jarrod let it go, at least out loud. He wondered what such a marriage would be like. It certainly wasn't the one he had planned with Beth. He was not a man who wanted a wife in name only who took care of the house and children while he went on doing whatever it was he wanted to do. He wanted what he had with Beth – someone close, someone intelligent, someone who loved him. Someone he could be with every non-working moment. Someone who would bear his children but also share his children with him. He definitely did not want to have the kind of marriage Alice seemed to be running away from, because it seemed empty.

He also realized he didn't know if Alice had any children. He wondered if she were leaving children behind. He didn't like the thought. He used to think mothers shouldn't leave their children, even if a marriage is bad – maybe they should be less inclined to leave a marriage if children are involved. Someone would have to look after the children if the father was acting more like an absent landlord than a father. But Jarrod had seen more than one problem family in his job and had made assumptions and conclusions about them that didn't turn out to be accurate. Right now he thought it really wasn't any of his business how other people managed their families if he hadn't been hired and invited into their problems. Maybe sometimes it was too tough for a mother to stay, or maybe she should go and take the children with her. Jarrod decided to quit thinking about it. Marriage was too complicated and too individual to make broad judgments about.

With Jarrod, you could read his feelings in his eyes unless he took pains to hide them, and he wasn't hiding his inner discomfort now. Alice asked, "What's wrong?"

"What?" Jarrod asked.

"You suddenly look very unhappy," she said, and then she shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sorry. I've said too much about personal things. I'm sure you don't want to hear my complaints about my husband."

Jarrod said, "It is something we'd get into more if you wanted me to get you a divorce," Jarrod said. "I've heard more than one story about unhappy marriages."

"But probably not so much from someone who wasn't a client," Alice said, and she took a deep breath and let it out. "Will we be going soon? I'd really like to get to Barstow."

Jarrod got up. "Why don't you have another cup of coffee while I get the horse saddled and the campsite cleaned up? How's the arm this morning?"

"It hurts, but not bad," Alice said.

Jarrod poured more coffee into her cup and then the last of it into his, then began to clean and pack up the pot and frying pan. He got the saddlebags loaded and the bedroll repacked, setting his coffee cup on a rock and finishing off his coffee with occasional sips. Then he finished cleaning up the site and completed his own ablutions for the morning, while Alice completed hers as he saddled the horse. Within twenty minutes, they were mounted and on their way.

XXXXXXX

There wasn't much to Barstow. If the army garrison hadn't been nearby, and if the town weren't on the old routes travelers took through the desert it might never have popped up here at all. But gold and silver were being unearthed in the mountains to the east and everyone suspected that Barstow would grow fast and soon. Jarrod was sure that was why his client was so anxious to get this land here for himself. It wouldn't be very long before the railroad came in here and Barstow, like so many other California towns, would explode.

But right now Barstow was still fairly sleepy. It didn't take long for Jarrod to locate a doctor's office, and soon he was helping Alice out of the saddle. The doctor heard them and was outside his door to meet them.

"What's the problem?" the doctor asked right away.

"This young lady was injured when her buggy overturned," Jarrod said, helping Alice inside. "She has a head injury, but the arm injury looks worse."

The doctor took them inside, closing the door. "Are you her husband?" he asked.

"No," Jarrod said. "I was just traveling to Barstow from Lancaster and came across her where she wrecked."

The doctor helped Alice to a small room while telling Jarrod to wait in the larger room just inside the front door. Jarrod sat down in a chair, taking his hat off, closing his eyes. With Alice being tended to, he turned his thoughts to the work he was going to have to do, starting with finding this Musgrave fellow. The sheriff here would probably be able to help him do that.

Jarrod didn't know how long he had been sitting and thinking before the doctor came back out of that small room. Jarrod stood up. "How is she?" he asked.

"Not too bad," the doctor said. "The head wound looks all right, though she might have a small concussion. The arm wound is a bit more of a problem. It took quite a few stitches to close. What I'm most worried about, though, is the baby."

"Baby?" Jarrod said, startled. "She's with child?"

The doctor nodded. "You didn't know."

"No, she never said a word," Jarrod said.

"Well, she isn't far enough along to show," the doctor said.

Then Jarrod spoke quietly. "What she did say was that she had left her husband."

"She told me that, too," the doctor said. "I have a bedroom and I can keep her here for a day or so, long enough to make sure she's stable anyway. We have a couple rooming houses in town, but none for just women. Frankly, we don't have a lot of women in town yet. Gold seekers are moving in, only a few at a time so far but if the discoveries start looking more promising – well, you know what kind of men the gold fields can attract and what kind of women. This woman really needs to go back to her husband."

Jarrod still hadn't reached that conclusion himself. "She didn't talk about it much, but by what she said told me it wasn't much of a marriage. Did she tell you she was here to meet her brother? He's a soldier just reassigned here."

"No, she didn't tell me that, but if he's a soldier, he won't be able to house her, that's for sure."

"What rooming house do you think would be best for her?"

"There's only one that's run by a woman. It's on the next street over – backs up to my place here, so at least it would be convenient for a woman about to have a baby. IF Mrs. Gold is willing to take her in."

Jarrod smiled at the name. Mrs. Gold.

"But she really needs to go back to her husband," the doctor said again.

Jarrod was a realist. He knew there were plenty of situations where a woman had to stick with a loveless marriage, simply because this world didn't offer many options. But he also knew it was not his place to push that particular option on her. "You can try to convince her of that better than I can, Doc. I'm just a traveler who found her on the road. But I'll go talk to this Mrs. Gold and see if I can get her to take her in. How long do you think you'll keep her here?"

"Only overnight, if she continues to do well," the doctor said. He pointed to a hallway. "You can go out the back door there and right back to Mrs. Gold's. Come on back here after you talk to Mrs. Gold."

"Is she a woman you can deal with?" Jarrod asked.

"If you have the money to pay the rent, she's just fine," the doctor said. "I just don't know if she'd take in a woman who's with child and running from her husband. Nobody likes to take on trouble."

Jarrod nodded. "Well, I guess I'll go see."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Jarrod said to the doctor, "I'd like to talk to Alice first, to make sure she's all right with me finding her a place to stay."

The doctor said, "It's all right. Go on in."

Jarrod went into the examination room. Alice was lying on the table there, looking contrite. She spoke before Jarrod did. "I heard the doctor tell you about the baby."

"He told me," Jarrod said. "You should have."

"I know, but – " She just shook her head.

"Do you have any other children?"

She shook her head again.

"I'm going to try to find a place for you to stay, because your brother won't be able to help you with that and you're going to need some time to settle down after this injury."

Alice looked even more contrite. "You might not want to help me when you hear what else I have to say."

Jarrod got suspicious. "What?"

"I don't have a brother," she said.

Jarrod suddenly wasn't surprised. "Then why did you tell me you did?"

"Because you were a strange man and I was alone out there and I wanted you to think there was someone waiting for me here in Barstow who had an army to back him up and who would miss me if I didn't get here," Alice said quickly.

Jarrod actually couldn't fault her for that. It was really a good piece of self-preservation thinking. "Then why did you want to get to Barstow?" Jarrod asked.

"My husband will think I went to Lancaster or Los Angeles," she said. "I was hoping to get here and then out of here before he figured out where I'd gone."

"Well, you're here now," Jarrod said, "and you're hurt and you're going to need a little time at least to make sure you and the baby are all right. The doctor says there's a boarding house right behind this, run by a woman named Mrs. Gold. I'd like to go see if she'll take you in."

Alice sighed. "I don't have any money. Any I was carrying blew away out there with my clothes and other things when the buggy turned over."

"I have means," Jarrod said. "I'll get you set up for a while and get you what personal items you'll need, but Alice – this is going to be far more difficult than you planned. You'd better think very hard about whether you can make it on your own."

She started to cry.

Jarrod felt like dirt for saying what he was about to say, but there really wasn't any time to be diplomatic about it. "You should consider going back to your husband."

"No," she said flatly.

Jarrod sighed. "Then I only see one other option for you. Stay here, get a job until you can't work anymore, then after you have your baby, start working again. It's as bleak as it sounds, but it's all there is for you, I'm afraid." He left unsaid what it was she might be working at in a town like Barstow.

But Alice was thinking about it and had been since she found out Jarrod was a lawyer. "What if I asked you to get me a divorce from my husband? What if, after you finish your business here, you represent me? Could you get me some money out of him?"

"I could try," Jarrod said, "but divorce is never easy, and you have to have some way of supporting yourself in the meantime. Do you actually have any family other than Hiram, Alice?"

"No," she said. "Only distant relatives and I don't even know where they are."

Jarrod sighed. "You don't have a lot of long term options."

"I'm not going back to Hiram, Jarrod," Alice said. "He'd kill my baby."

"What?" Jarrod said, shocked.

"Not intentionally, even though he doesn't want it," Alice said. "Jarrod, I left him because he started pushing me around, actually pushing me. He's going to hurt me before long, and that could hurt my baby. I can't go back to Hiram. I just can't."

Jarrod sighed again and sat down in a chair near the door. Alice's life was far more complicated than she had let on – which was, of course, why she hadn't let on about it. He thought and he thought fast. "You'll need a place to stay while I do my work, and I don't know how long it's gonna take for me to do my work. First things first. Let me talk to Mrs. Gold about staying at her boarding house. The doctor wants to keep you overnight but then you can move in over there, if she can take you."

"Jarrod, I don't have any money."

"I'll lend you some money."

"I don't know how I'll pay you back."

"I'm not going to support you for life, Alice. I'm just talking about paying your rent for a week or two."

She looked uncomfortable, but resigned. "All right, talk to Mrs. Gold for me. But I won't be able to repay your loan unless I get something from Hiram. Nobody's going to hire me while I'm expecting."

And Jarrod knew that meant she'd have no income for months, unless she did, in fact, get something from Hiram. Which would probably take a divorce, if she wouldn't go back to him. "I'll lend you some money and consider myself hired to pursue this divorce, if it's what you want, but I reserve the right to talk to you about it repeatedly. I'm not at all in favor of suggesting you stay with a man you think is going to hurt you. And I do believe you when you say you're afraid he'll hurt you. But there is a lot to think about here and not many options, and you need time to think about it."

"I've had the time, and I've thought about it," Alice said. "I can't even begin to repay your loan for the foreseeable future, unless I get a quick divorce and some money."

"How well off is Hiram?" Jarrod asked. "Is it realistic to expect he can pay you enough to support yourself?"

"Yes, he is well off," Alice said. "Which is why I haven't left him before now. It's amazing what you'll put up with to be comfortable and not be poor. But the way he treats me I know could hurt my baby, and that I can't tolerate."

"I understand," Jarrod said. "For now, just tell me I am your agent to find you a place to stay and to look out for your interests, and we'll go from there."

Alice nodded. "You are my agent."

Jarrod got up, saying, "I'll go talk to Mrs. Gold and be back in a few minutes. You rest."

He went out, giving the doctor a resigned look as he went down the hall toward the back door, thinking _I must be crazy_. But he really had no choice in this. Alice needed as much help now as she had needed out there in the desert, and again, he was the only one who could provide it.

He wasn't sure he believed her about this Hiram fellow hurting her, but for now, he was willing to assume that was true. It certainly wasn't anything he could check out while he was here trying to do business with this Musgrave fellow. Later, maybe he could check it out but in the meantime, he just had to hope that she was finished with the lies and the undisclosed truths, because if they kept up, this story was going to have a different ending.

XXXXXXXX

Mrs. Gold was a tall, thin woman who's face wore a perpetual frown. When Jarrod went to her house, he went around to the front and found her on the porch, in a rocking chair, with a shotgun on her lap. He tried to disarm her with a smile.

"Good morning," he said cheerfully, staying off the porch and keeping his distance. "My name is Jarrod Barkley. I'm a lawyer. I just arrived in town, and I'm representing a woman who's over at the doctor's office for the night but who needs a place to stay for a while starting tomorrow. Can you accommodate her?"

"Your lover?" she asked bluntly.

"No," Jarrod said. "I actually just met her yesterday. She's just my client. She was hurt in a buggy accident, and she is with child, though it's very early on, but she is going to be fine and will be able to take care of herself."

"Isn't she married?"

"She is," Jarrod said, "but her husband isn't with her." He wasn't about to say Alice had left him.

"I charge fifty cents a night." Mrs. Gold said. "Can she pay?"

"I will pay for her."

Mrs. Gold looked him up and down. "You don't live here."

"No, I'm only in town for a week or two, on business."

"I'll take her if you'll pay, but once you leave, so does she."

Jarrod wasn't really surprised to hear that. But, of course, that left him with what to do with Alice if when he was ready to leave town, she still didn't want to go back to her husband. He struck the deal with Mrs. Gold, paid her a week in advance for Alice, then went back over to the doctor's office to fill her in.

And as he went over there, he thought of something else he had to ask Alice, and he hoped she hadn't kept something else from him.

Now resting sitting upright in a bed in another room, Alice nodded, saying, "Thank you. I really appreciate your help."

"You'll have to give a lot of thought about what to do when I have to leave town," Jarrod said. "Clearly, unless you find some job around here and Mrs. Gold lets you stay, you'll have to leave town, too."

"I know," Alice said. "But I will not go back to Hiram, Jarrod. That's something I will never do."

Jarrod nodded. "If you are dead set against it, I will help you get the divorce and whatever support money we can get out of him. But I have to ask you a very personal question, Alice, and I need an honest answer. Remember, what you say to me is totally confidential and need not be disclosed to anyone. Is this baby your husband's child, or is there someone else?"

Alice looked enraged, but just for a moment. "I can understand why you'd ask that," she said, "but yes, this is his child."

"Does he suspect it's someone else's?" Jarrod asked.

"There has never been anyone else, Jarrod. What Hiram suspects, I don't know. He hasn't made any accusations but that doesn't mean he's not thinking them. And I tell you, honestly and sincerely, there has never been anyone else. This child is Hiram's."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Jarrod took Alice's words at face value for the time being, and nodded. Her baby was her husband's baby, but he asked, "Is there any particular reason you think he doesn't want this child?"

"He never wanted any children," Alice said. "He doesn't want them under foot. He just never wanted to be bothered. I insisted he take precautions if he didn't want children, and I had some of my own I took, but all it takes is one slip up. He sees it as a slip up of my making, but really, until I found out I was going to have this child, I didn't want any children either. I was content to be taken care of and be available to my husband for whatever he wanted me for. I know, it sounds like I was a live-in fallen woman, and maybe I was. Like I said, it's amazing what you'll do to avoid being poor."

What she said now made Jarrod more interested, more believing that she wasn't lying now. "Where do you come from, Alice? Who were you before Hiram?"

Alice sighed. "My mother and father came from a little town in Illinois. My father caught the gold fever and dragged my mother out here with him during the rush. They had me a year after they got here, but my father was having no luck at all in the gold fields and after I was born, they resolved to go back to Illinois. They were killed on their way up into the Sierras when the wagon overturned." She chuckled ironically. "We don't have a lot of luck with vehicles in my family, do we?"

"How did you survive the accident?" Jarrod asked.

"I don't know, but my parents were with a small train heading back east and one of the others rescued me. They took me back to a mission and left me there. I wasn't more than six months old. From there it was an orphanage in San Francisco, and that's where I was raised. I ran away when I was sixteen."

"How did you support yourself?" Jarrod asked gently.

"Saloons," Alice said. "Gentleman's clubs. That's how I met Hiram, ten years ago. He was from down this way. Hiram's father was a merchant with land and money near Los Angeles. His mother was a prostitute, but she died when he was born and his father actually took him in. Hiram was his only son. When his father died, Hiram inherited everything."

"Did you love Hiram?"

"I did back then. What wasn't there to love? He took me out of a life of no promise, no anything, and he made me a lady of the estate. But if he ever loved me, I don't know. He wanted me. That's all I know."

"What is Hiram's surname? I'm sure it's not Bowles."

Alice smiled. "Bowles is the name I grew up with. I assume it was my parents name and that's where the orphanage I was raised in got it from, but I don't really know. Hiram's surname is Taylor. Hiram got his difficult ways from his father, and probably his attitude toward children, too. He's a complicated man."

"So it seems," Jarrod said, and marveled for the n'th time at how people could turn out.

Alice looked up at him, very sternly and seriously. "If I can do anything about it, my baby is not going to grow up the way I did. She's going to know I love her and I will do whatever I have to do to support her. She is Hiram's child, and he has the means to at least pay me money to support her, even if he doesn't want to have anything else to do with her."

Jarrod smiled a little. "You're sure you're going to have a daughter."

Now Alice smiled a little too. "No, but that's what I hope she is."

Jarrod stood up from his chair. "All right. You rest today, while I go tend to the business I came here for. Tomorrow, we'll move you over to Mrs. Gold's and talk some more about where we go from here. In the meantime, you think about it. Think hard. You don't have many choices and I'm sorry, but none of them is full of sunshine and roses. Just know that I will help you all I can."

She reached for his hand, and he took hers. Alice said, "I believe you. And I hope you believe me now. Everything I've said to you is the truth – even if I fudged it a little by making up my brother."

"I can understand why you did that," Jarrod said. He squeezed her hand and let go. "I'll see you tomorrow."

XXXXXXX

Jarrod went to the livery stable and rounded up a couple men to go out to where the buggy had wrecked and collect what they could of Alice's belongings, and bring the buggy in if possible. He showed them on his map where it was and told them what damage they'd have to repair to the buggy to get it back here. Jarrod had no illusions – if these men found any money, they'd keep it, but maybe they could return some of Alice's personal items, and maybe if the buggy was salvageable it could be sold and Alice would have a little money.

From there, Jarrod went to the sheriff's office and found out where the property of this Mr. Musgrave was. It was east of Barstow, toward the army camp but right on the edge of town. Jarrod found Musgrave at home, introduced himself, and started some preliminary negotiations on the spot. Musgrave wanted to sell a strip of land right next to the edge of town. He needed money, and he could give up this strip for the right price. He wisely knew it was the part of his property that would give him the most cash, and he'd still have plenty of land left for his ranch.

His cattle were pretty skinny, but that was to be expected from cattle grazed on desert brush and not green grass. Jarrod wondered how he made a living, but Musgrave happily told him that he was the main supplier of beef not only to the town but to the army camp too. He also raised horses and bought from mustangers to supply the army and the local livery. He was doing all right, but he wanted cash to increase his herd of cattle. Barstow was beginning to grow more quickly. People would need food, and he wanted to supply it.

Jarrod got Musgrave's asking price on the land, then returned to town and wired it off to his client in Los Angeles. He also wired his family to let them know he was safely in Barstow. He said nothing about Alice or his adventure with her. That would just get their interest and their worry up.

Jarrod spent the evening in one of the less ramshackle bars. He had a beer and a steak – one of Musgrave's, probably, as it was tough and had little marbling as beef from a skinny cow would be. There was some poker going on. Jarrod joined in but only for a little money. He really didn't want to advertise the amount he was carrying. He pretty much broke even in the game, then headed back to his hotel.

Where he got a surprise when he asked for his key. He got a look at the register, and he saw the name Hiram Taylor. His stomach sank. Alice's plans to push Hiram to look for her in the wrong direction didn't work.

Jarrod resisted the urge to ask the man at the desk about Hiram. He'd just as soon Hiram not know there was someone around with an interest in his wife, so he tried to figure out how to flush Hiram out of the woodwork and find out secretively who the man was. Instead of going to his room, he went back to the doctor's office to talk to Alice.

And there he was, talking to his wife. Hiram had found her already. Hiram was a small man, thin and dark with a very trimmed moustache. Alice was in bed, looking uncomfortable. Hiram heard Jarrod come in and looked his way. "Who are you and what do you want?"

"My name is Jarrod Barkley," Jarrod said. "I'm a lawyer. I'm Alice's lawyer."

Hiram flashed his look Alice's way. "A lawyer? You've got a lawyer?"

"He found me when the buggy wrecked," Alice said, very quietly. This woman who had been strong and firm was now very intimidated.

Jarrod waffled between leaving the room and inserting himself more into the proceedings between Alice and her husband. He looked toward her to see if she could tell him what she wanted.

Alice looked back at him, then lowered her gaze to her lap and said, "Hiram, I want a divorce."

"A divorce?" Hiram blurted. "No, there is no divorce! There is no such thing! There will be no divorce!"

"I'm not going back with you!" Alice suddenly blurted at him.

"Then you will go away on your own and I'll be done with you – and with your lawyer!"

Hiram marched out of the room, giving Jarrod a shove as he went by. Jarrod didn't push back, just letting the man pass. He did close the door behind him. "Are you all right?" Jarrod asked Alice.

She nodded, but she was crying. "Now you see what a love-filled marriage I have."

Jarrod pulled the chair up closer to the bed and sat down beside it. He reached for her hand. "And you see what a battle you have ahead of you. Is Hiram is a Catholic?"

Alice nodded. "I am too, and I know the church is not going to go along with this, but I've made my decision. I want a legal divorce, even if the church won't recognize it."

The strong, determined woman was back – but what was her determination going to get her? Hiram would fight a divorce, that was clear. He wouldn't willingly give her a cent, not even to be free of her. If Alice got anything out of him at all, it would take time that she really didn't have, even if Jarrod didn't charge her for his legal services (which he wouldn't). How was Alice going to support herself and her child?

For now, Jarrod just held her hand and let her cry. He'd dealt with ugly divorces before, but this one was going to be the ugliest. He had to think hard about how he was going to handle it.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Jarrod stayed with Alice for a little while, but she was too upset to even talk. The doctor brought her a little tea to settle her down, and Jarrod left her to his ministrations. He went to the livery where he quickly found out Hiram had been there too. The broken down buggy wasn't there yet, but the liveryman told him that Hiram had been there and laid claim to it if it was brought in. Jarrod knew Alice wasn't going to see a penny out of that broken buggy.

Jarrod went back to the hotel and planned to get some sleep, but the street was noisy with men tonight and he was too troubled to get sleep to come easily. He wanted to help Alice, to represent her to the best of his ability, but in the end, would it gain her anything? Hiram had all the money and all the power in this relationship. Alice was virtually a slave. How do you free a slave? How do you find a way for a slave, once freed, to support herself?

Come morning, he had maybe gotten an hour of sleep. Some coffee and some breakfast helped revive him. He checked at the telegraph office for any messages, but there were none. He hadn't expected anything from Nick and Heath, but he was hoping for something from his client in Los Angeles. He told the telegrapher to hold any messages that came and he'd back later for them.

From there, he went to the doctor's office to see about Alice – and got a shock he didn't expect, but then again maybe he should have. She was gone.

"Her husband came this morning and picked her up," the doctor said.

"Did she go willingly?" Jarrod asked.

"She seemed to," the doctor said.

"Did she leave any message for me?"

"No, nothing. She just left."

"Did he pay you?" Jarrod asked, doubting.

But the doctor said, "Yes, he paid me. I don't know what you had invested in that girl, but I'm sorry, she's gone."

Jarrod nodded. "She was just a client," Jarrod said.

But he was extremely suspicious. If she had left with her husband willingly, wouldn't she have left him a message, something saying she was doing what she wanted and he was off the hook? Why the silence? And why would she have made such a complete about-face in the first place?

Or was it possible she did leave willingly and just didn't have the courage to leave him a message?

Jarrod went back outside, wondering what to do, but it became obvious quickly that he could do nothing. Alice and Hiram were gone, and he didn't even know exactly where they lived. Even if he were inclined to go after them, how could he? He was in Barstow on business for another client that he owed his first attentions to. He couldn't just up and leave, chasing a woman when he didn't even know where she'd gone, and when she might not even want to be caught.

Jarrod went back to Mrs. Gold's house and told her that Alice would not be coming. Mrs. Gold immediately said, "I can't give you your money back."

Jarrod wasn't surprised. "Just keep it," he said. "Take on somebody else for free for a week." Not that he thought she would actually do that. She'd just keep the extra income. Jarrod left feeling cheated, but at least it wasn't much. Not as much as Alice had cheated him.

Jarrod went to a little café near the sheriff's office and sat down with a cup of coffee. He decided that what he wanted to do was wrap up these negotiations on the land deal and get the heck out of here as fast as he could. Barstow was rapidly leaving a very bad taste in his mouth, making him ignore any angst he was feeling about turning 35 and not knowing where his life was going. Not that the angst was gone. What had happened here with Alice had just created a nasty anger that blotted it out.

He checked the telegraph office and found a counter-offer from his client on the land deal. He took it directly to Musgrave, who made a counter-offer of his own. Jarrod went back to the telegraph office and sent the newest counter-offer to his client. He knew this could go on for days. He was not looking forward to it.

As it was, it went on for a day and a half before they had a deal. Then came another day of the paperwork, the further wires to his client, the client wiring money to Musgrave, filing the deed among the land records, mailing a second copy of the deed to his client – and then wiring his brothers that he would heading home in the morning. He spent his last night in Barstow in the bar, drinking but not too much – he was over his drinking problem from his 34th year – and eating and playing some cards.

The next morning he headed back toward Lancaster and the train home. When he passed the spot where he had found Alice and her wrecked buggy, he only knew it because there were still some papers caught in some bushes. The men he'd hired to come get the buggy and pick up what they could had done a pretty good job. Jarrod presumed Hiram had the buggy and Alice had her personal items, but at this point he really didn't care.

It took nearly three days to get to Lancaster. Once there, he returned his rented mount and bought a ticket on the late train back up to San Francisco. He didn't even want to spend a night here. He just wanted out. He caught the train, settled into a comfortable seat in first class, and leaned back with his bedroll for a pillow and his saddlebags for a footstool. He tipped his hat forward and closed his eyes.

Jarrod stayed over one day in San Francisco, checking in at his office and at his house just to make sure everything was secure and there was no important business waiting for him. Everything was fine. He told his secretary he would go on to Stockton the next day, spent a quiet night in his home with a good book and a glass of cognac, and was off to Stockton the next day on the morning train.

He was still on the tired side when he rode into the ranch in late afternoon. Traveling was always tiring, even if you didn't do much but sit on a train or in a stagecoach. He gave his horse up to Ciego after unloading his bedroll and saddlebags and went into the house.

He got a surprise. Victoria and Audra were back and greeted him in the foyer. "Oh, my goodness, you're home!" he said as he dropped his things on the floor by the stair and they hugged him and kissed his cheek. "I thought you might still be in Oregon."

"We got home several days ago," Victoria said. "Nick and Heath filled us in on what you've been up to, and actually – so has someone else."

Jarrod looked confused, then Victoria looked toward the living room. He followed her gaze and went into complete shock. There, on the settee, sat Alice Bowles.

"Wha - ?" he blubbered.

Jarrod walked into the living room on legs that felt like rubber, like someone else was directing them. "Hello, Jarrod," Alice said.

Jarrod stopped in front of her, mouth open, not knowing whether to be welcoming or whether to chew her out on the spot. As it was, he felt completely clogged up and the only thing that would come out of his mouth was, "What are you doing here?"

Alice held her hands up in a "stop" motion. His resentment was coming through loud and clear. "Please, give me a chance to explain."

"Explain isn't the word for it," Jarrod said. Now the dam had broken. "You left me holding the bag in Barstow without a word! Just up and left with the husband you told me you wanted to divorce without leaving me a note or a word with the doctor, and now you have the nerve to come here? To my home? To my family to take care of you?"

"Jarrod – " Victoria said, coming close quickly. "Why don't you calm down and let Alice tell you what happened?"

Jarrod turned on her. "Mother, you don't realize who you're dealing with here. This woman has a way of making up facts and hiding truths and leading you around by the nose!"

Audra sat down beside Alice, as Alice's eyes started to tear up.

Jarrod caught Audra's motion and looked their way. He saw the tears. "Don't try that on me again, either. Tears aren't going to work."

"Jarrod, let her talk," Audra said. "It won't hurt you just to listen, even if you don't believe her."

Huffing, frustrated and livid he was coming home to this when he needed to come home to some peace and quiet, Jarrod gave in but walked away to the mantle and stood with his arm against it. "All right. I'm listening. You tell me why you treated me like dirt when all I did was help you."

Alice hung her head, but then looked up and said, "To save your life."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"To save my life?" Jarrod said, completely sarcastically. "From whom? That husband of yours?"

"He told me he'd kill you if I didn't go home with him," Alice said.

"That's either a lie or a bunch of garbage he fed you and you believed," Jarrod said. "He wasn't about to kill me and you know it."

"I couldn't risk it," she said.

"Then why did you come here?" Jarrod asked. "If he was telling the truth about killing me, you've put my entire family at risk by coming here."

"I didn't have anywhere else to go," Alice said, and she opened her blouse.

The shock of her actually doing that in front of him was replaced immediately by the shock of seeing the large bruise on her abdomen, just above where her womb was starting to grow and show what was happening inside. Jarrod stared, and straightened.

"I think the baby's all right," Alice said and closed her blouse, "but as soon as we got home, Hiram hit me. This time I think he was really trying to kill my baby. I never thought he'd do that before and I went home from Barstow with him because he threatened you and I really didn't have anywhere to go or any way to support myself and I really had no choice. But when he did this – Jarrod, I came here because I didn't know where else to go. I'm sorry. I'll leave if you want – "

"We don't want you to leave," Victoria said quickly. "Jarrod, whatever happened between the two of you in Barstow is your business. Alice said she hired you as her attorney, and so what you do between you is confidential and we know it, but until we sort some of this out, Alice needs refuge and we can provide it."

Jarrod was silent for a bit, but then asked, "Does Hiram know where you've gone?"

"He's not here yet that I know of," Alice said, "but he'll probably figure it out."

Jarrod looked at his mother. "If Alice is right and Hiram comes here to kill me, this entire family is at risk."

"We've been at risk before," Victoria said, "and we will be again."

Jarrod could tell that the women were closing ranks here. Barkley women would not tolerate any man hitting his wife, especially his pregnant wife. Victoria's and Audra's resolve to protect Alice was unchangeable. They would not put her out. They would keep her safe no matter what they had to do.

And Jarrod was totally opposed to letting a man hit his wife, too. He began to settle down. "How long have you been here?" Jarrod asked.

"Three days," Alice said.

Jarrod thought. "If Hiram is going to turn up, he could do it at any time."

"I know," Alice said. "If he goes anywhere looking for me, it will probably be you he looks for first."

"That's why she's been staying here at the ranch," Audra said. "To stay out of sight."

Jarrod said, "If you and mother go into town, Audra, I want someone to go with you for a while, and I don't want you to go riding anywhere unescorted, not even on property. I really don't think Hiram will make good on his threat against me, but I don't want to take any chances – especially given what appears to be his attitude toward women."

Then Jarrod looked at the refreshment table. His changed drinking habits had him staying away from the liquor while he was here at the ranch, until that time of day when the family got together before dinner, and it wasn't quite that time of day yet. But sometimes there was still the urge to knock one down when he was particularly flummoxed.

And angry. And mistrusting. And cynical. He groaned inside. Was his 35th year going to be as rough as his 34th, and more ill-tempered to boot?

His mother and sister were watching. Jarrod looked away from the refreshment table and started back for the stairs. "I need to clean up and unpack. We can talk some more when Nick and Heath are here."

He left them then, grabbed his saddlebags and bedroll and headed upstairs without another word.

Victoria looked at Alice, who looked at her and said, "I've created more problems in your family than I thought I would. I'm sorry."

Victoria smiled. "Jarrod is a stubborn man, just like all the Barkleys, and he hates to feel like he's been had."

"I haven't tried to put anything over on Jarrod," Alice said. "I really did leave Barstow and go with my husband because I was afraid of what Hiram might do to him. It obviously wasn't the best decision I could have made, but I didn't know what else to do."

"Well, now you know you need to stay here for now," Victoria said. "It might take a little time, but Jarrod will ease off. His brothers understand the situation, and they'll help talk him down. He's already starting to settle. I can tell."

"Your sons are all very kind men, Mrs. Barkley," Alice said.

"Yes, they are," Victoria said, remembering how when Alice first arrived here Nick had been particularly suspicious, but Heath listened to her story and talked Nick down from his uneasiness. She was pretty sure the two of them could talk Jarrod down, even if he had plenty more reason to be uneasy.

But she also knew that Jarrod understood that she and Audra were not about to let Alice or her baby be at risk from a husband who would hit her. To the women, that was the most important thing going on here, and Victoria was certain Jarrod now understood that. And she knew that once he thought it out, as he was probably doing right now, he would not permit Alice to be at risk from Hiram either. Jarrod would ultimately close ranks with the women and the rest of the family to protect Alice. Victoria had no doubt about that.

XXXXXXX

Jarrod was changing into clean clothes, just about to put a shirt on, when a knock came at his door. "Who is it?" he asked.

"It's Nick," came the voice. "Heath's with me."

"Come on in," Jarrod said.

His brothers did come in. Jarrod gave them a look of disdain and pulled his shirt on.

"I'm sure you're here to tell me what you think of Alice Bowles coming here," Jarrod said. "It was definitely not my idea."

"Yeah, we know that," Heath said. "She's been pretty up front about everything that went on in Barstow."

"I doubt that," Jarrod said.

"Well, she told us she hid her pregnancy from you at first and lied about having a brother," Nick said. "I was pretty unhappy about her coming here, and I'm still not thrilled, but at least she told us up front about what she lied to you about or kept from you, and why she did it."

"And that won you over?" Jarrod asked, dripping with sarcasm.

"It made me think twice about her," Nick said.

"You know Mother and Audra have practically adopted her," Heath said.

"Yes, and I know why," Jarrod said, easing off. "One thing that's obvious is that somebody hit her and it probably was her husband, and Mother and Audra are gonna want to protect her from that. And her baby."

"But she stung you good in Barstow and you're not too keen on letting her stay here," Nick said.

"That's putting it mildly," Jarrod said, "but I know better to fight Mother when she has her mind set, and when Audra joins her, I know they'll get their way. And she clearly is at risk from her husband. But we sure can't keep her here until she has her baby. If she really means it about leaving her husband this time, she has to find a way to support herself. And frankly, after what happened in Barstow, I'm not sure she really means it."

"You think she'll go back to her husband if he turns up, despite how bad he hit her," Nick said.

"I don't know what I think right now," Jarrod said and reached for a jacket to put on.

"I'd give her a chance, Jarrod," Heath said. "I think she really gets it now, that her husband could kill her baby."

"She says she left Barstow with him because her husband threatened to kill me," Jarrod said.

"You don't believe that," Nick said.

"I can believe he made the threat, but I don't believe for a minute he'd actually try to do it," Jarrod said. "I don't think she means that much to him."

"Sometimes that's not what drives a man," Heath said. "Sometimes it's more he gets mad about another man taking something away from him."

"I know that, Heath," Jarrod said, "but a man has to want something unrelentingly badly to want to kill another man over it. Believe me – I know."

They knew that he knew. Nick and Heath looked at each other and saw Cass Hyatt lurking in the background. "What do you want to do about this?" Nick asked.

"Right now, nothing," Jarrod said. "Mother and Audra want to give her sanctuary, and I suspect the two of you do, too."

"She does need help," Nick said.

"I know it's true, she needs help. She just hasn't been very good at accepting it and working with it. Give me a day or two to get my thinking straight, and to see what else happens," Jarrod said. "This picture could change by then. Heaven knows, what I went through with this woman in Barstow changed like lightning every time I turned around."

"It's been pretty calm here," Heath said. "Maybe _she_ changed."

Jarrod looked doubtful, but he said, "We'll see how things go."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Jarrod was very quiet during their gathering before dinner and during dinner. His family talked to Alice, asked her questions but tried to stay light about it, tried not to get on subjects that would upset her. Things were not merry, but not dreadful..

The subject did not stay on Alice for long. No one asked Jarrod about how his land negotiations went in Barstow – they wanted to stay away from Barstow – and questions about travel got only cursory answers. Nick and Heath went on to discussing the situation on the ranch, what needed doing where, which new men had hired on and what they knew about them. Chatter became idle, but never really comfortable.

Then, at the end of the meal, Jarrod got up, saying, "Alice, would you walk with me for a little while?"

She hesitated, but when he went to help her stand, she said, "Of course."

Jarrod didn't say anything else, but took her softly by the elbow, and they went out together.

All the other family members let out sighs, not so much of relief as "uh-oh." But Nick said, "They might settle a few things out there."

"Jarrod will try to understand and go along with this," Victoria said, "but I'm afraid that grain of distrust is in there and won't be coming out."

"Don't we have it too?" Heath asked. "Maybe we feel protective for Alice, but I don't know about you. I feel kinda cautious, too."

"Of course we do," Victoria said. "She's in an uneasy position and this is an uneasy time."

"If Jarrod settles down, we'll probably settle down some more, too," Audra said, "but no matter what, I think we have to try to help Alice. She clearly needs protection."

"It's very difficult in this world to protect a woman from an abusive husband," Victoria said. "The law is not on the woman's side as a rule. We do not have the same rights as men do by any stretch of the imagination. I'm afraid that if her husband were to try to get Alice back and keep her, he'd succeed."

"I think Jarrod would fight that, regardless of how he feels about her personally," Heath said.

"But he wouldn't have much ammunition, not with the law the way it is now," Victoria said.

Outside, Jarrod began to stroll with Alice toward the stables. As soon as they stepped off the verandah, Jarrod said, "Obviously, there are things we need to discuss."

"Obviously," Alice said after a moment or two.

"I need you to be completely honest and open with me," Jarrod said. "I want to give you another chance. I want help you, but you have to work with me, and you're going to have to prove to me constantly that you are working with me."

"Because you don't trust me," Alice said.

"I trusted you before. You have to earn it back, Alice. My family may be willing to take you at face value, but they don't have Barstow, do they?"

Alice was contrite. She was silent for a long time, until they reached the corral.

There were three horses there who looked up at them. The only light was soft light from the house and the bunkhouse, but the horses looked at the humans who came to them. The wind was starting to pick up a bit, and the three of them gathered together, each one's head on another one's back, until they were in a circle protecting each other, all their backs to the wind.

"We should go back inside soon," Jarrod said. "When they group up like that, they know the wind is coming." He had hoped they would be able to watch the horses for a while, that doing that would calm things and make Alice more open, but the storm still rumbling between the two of them seemed to be spilling over to the weather and the horses.

A light gust caught Alice's hair and pulled a little of it out of her haircombs. She looked at Jarrod and said, "You want me to earn your trust back. How do I do that?"

"First, you tell me the truth," Jarrod said. "Do you want to divorce your husband?"

"What would that take? I know we're Catholic and the church would never recognize it, but to get the law to recognize it, what would it take, and could I get money out of Hiram to support myself and my child?"

"I think we have to assume Hiram would not be cooperative," Jarrod said. "That being the case, we'd have to present grounds for divorce to a court. That would be very expensive, and there are very specific grounds that allow divorce. Sadly, simple cruelty isn't one of them. We would have to show extreme cruelty, or that he was adulterous or deserted you."

"I would think trying to make me miscarry would be extreme cruelty," Alice said.

"Don't be so sure," Jarrod said. "Different judges have different opinions. There was a case where a man cut his wife's throat and it wasn't cruel enough."

Alice sighed deeply. "Jarrod, I don't know what else to do. I don't have any income. I took some money with me when I left and came up here, but not a lot. Obviously, I have to get a job, but how can I get a job once I start showing, and that's coming any time now?" She looked at him, very seriously. "I came to you to find out what to do, what I could do under the law, how I could get him to support me or advice about how to support myself if he won't. Jarrod, I was crazy to leave Barstow and go home with him, I know, but he threatened you. He said he'd treat me better, but that didn't last past getting in the door of our house. I hoped. I was stupid, but I hoped."

"Alice, I'm sorry, but you don't have a lot of options, and the chances of getting money out of Hiram, even if you get a divorce, are slim unless something in this equation changes."

"I suppose I could just get as far away as I could and live apart from him without a divorce."

"But that wouldn't solve your money problem, and you would not be able to marry again."

"I wouldn't be able to marry again in the church with or without a divorce," Alice mused. "Jarrod, I'm really trapped, aren't I?"

The wind started to pick up even more. Jarrod took Alice by the arm again. "Let's go back inside. If you continue to be honest with me, Alice, I'll work on these problems with you, but you have to be very sure you want to be free of him, because if you go back to him again, no one around here will help you leave him a third time."

"I understand," Alice said.

They went back into the house to find the family in the library, enjoying coffee together. As soon as they came in, Victoria poured Jarrod a cup and asked, "Alice, would you like some coffee?"

"I don't think so," Alice said.

"A little sherry?" Nick asked.

"No, thank you," Alice said and Jarrod sat her down in one of the armchairs.

Everyone looked at Jarrod. They could tell by Alice's demeanor that he had not had a happy walk with her, but then they didn't expect a happy one. They expected an honest one, and they knew that was going to be troublesome.

Beside her mother on the sofa, Audra said, "Alice, maybe tomorrow we should take a ride on the property."

Before she could answer, Jarrod said, "Actually, I think it might be a better idea if Alice and I took that ride."

Alice looked surprised.

"We need to start talking in earnest, and the fresh air and countryside can be far more conducive to clear thinking than this library or my office can be," Jarrod said. "If it's a pleasant day, why don't we go riding as soon as it warms up a bit in the morning?"

Just the idea of the fresh air and the countryside – along with what seemed to be genuine interest on Jarrod's part - perked Alice up a little. "All right," she said.

XXXXXXX

Long after everyone had gone to bed, Jarrod was still up in the library, reading and thinking. It wasn't unusual for him to be the last to go up to bed. He was a bit of a night owl, often taking time to read the newspaper or research some issue he'd thought of because his best thinking sometimes seemed to happen after dark. Tonight, though, he had lost track of time, until his sister came in, wearing a robe and slippers, looking a bit bleary. As soon as she was in the door, she said, "Why are you still up?"

"I could ask you the same question," Jarrod said.

"I saw the light still on down here and figured you might be working," Audra said. "Why are you doing that?"

"I had some thoughts I wanted to track down," Jarrod said.

"About Alice's situation?"

"Yes, but unfortunately, divorce decisions don't usually make it to these law books. Most of what I know I got from newspapers. You know how sensational they can be, and I have to rely on my memory anyway."

"If you're not having any luck, why don't you go to bed?"

Jarrod sighed. "I suppose because the fact that I'm not having luck is keeping me awake."

"Jarrod, do you like Alice?"

Jarrod thought that was an odd, and a blunt question. "I did when I first met her, but things have gotten complicated, Audra."

"I know that, but down deep, under the complications, do you like her?"

"'Like' involves trust and honesty," Jarrod said. "I'm not sure I'm all the way back to trusting her again yet."

"She has very good reasons for the things she's done," Audra said. "I think she's explained herself well."

"At face value, yes," Jarrod said. "But with me, there have been untruths and hidden truths. I need more time with her to be sure they're not coming up again."

"Well, I like her," Audra said. "Please don't take that as a slap in your face."

Jarrod smiled. "I don't. And it sounds like she has been perfectly honest since she got here."

"Give her another chance, Jarrod."

"I am giving her another chance," he said and got up from the desk. "And now, you need to go back to bed, and I'll go up too."

"Good," Audra said as he put out the light and they left together. "I'm betting once you take that ride together tomorrow, you will feel a lot better about Alice."

"Let's hope so," Jarrod said.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The next day did turn out to be pleasant, so after breakfast, Jarrod had two horses saddled, and he and Alice took off cross country toward the hills. For half an hour or so they hardly talked, just riding in the direction Jarrod had planned to go. He wanted to go to a quiet place at the edge of the foothills that he knew, beside a small stream that he knew would be nice and full this time of year. It was a place they could be alone to think, to talk, to plan this life of Alice's, and hopefully to settle on what she really wanted so he could figure out how to get it for her.

Alice finally asked, "How far are we going?"

Jarrod pointed ahead. "I want to go on another mile or so this way. There's a good spot for thinking and talking. Come on."

Alice rode on with him, and before long he had them at the edge of that little stream, near a rock outcropping. Jarrod tethered his horse there and helped Alice to dismount, then he led her to the rocks where there were several to choose from. She sat down, looking at the water rushing by over rocks of its own. "This is lovely," she said.

"Being in a place like this after a nice ride can help a person think," Jarrod said.

"Is it helping you?"

"The bigger question is, is it helping you?"

Alice looked down toward the water. "I thought a lot about things after our walk last night. I realized I've been indecisive, and no one can really help me until I'm committed to what I'm going to do and not do."

"And?" Jarrod asked when she didn't go on right away.

Alice looked at him. "I can't afford to get a divorce, can I? It would cost too much money."

"It would cost a lot of money," Jarrod said. "Even if I didn't charge you, there would be court fees and fees involved with taking depositions, and in the end – well, I don't know if there will be enough evidence that would cause a court to grant you the divorce. It's not there now."

"Even though he hit me this hard?"

"Your bruise is already fading. It would be your word against his, and I suspect he'd have no trouble lying."

"So, my options are really reduced to two – go back to him and take my chances, or simple run as far away as I can get without divorcing him."

"Realistically, I'd say yes, those are your options," Jarrod said.

She shook her head and looked like she was going to cry. "Jarrod, I don't want to go back to him. He could kill my baby."

"So you said in Barstow," Jarrod said. "There are some possibilities if you just leave him and resume your life without the divorce."

"Like what?"

"In the larger cities, like San Francisco or Chicago or even Denver, there are some women's groups and other groups setting up sanctuaries for women in your position," Jarrod said. "They give you housing. They help you through your pregnancy. But for the most part, they insist the baby be given up for adoption because a mother alone will have a hard time supporting her child."

"Heath told me about himself," Alice said. "He told me about his mother and how she raised him alone."

"She wasn't completely alone," Jarrod said. "Heath's mother had very good friends who helped her. You don't have that every day support that goes on for years."

For a moment, Jarrod was sorry he had said that. He could see in Alice's eyes that part of her had hoped he and his family might be that support for her, but now that he had said that, that little bit of hope was gone.

Jarrod tried to salvage the situation. "I am very familiar with a home in San Francisco. Usually it's single women with child that they take in. I've never taken a woman there who was married and running away from her husband, and since it's run by a group of Catholic nuns I'm not sure that they would take you at all, but I can check it out."

Alice slumped. "Jarrod, I'm not sure I could bring myself to stay with a house run by nuns, and I know I don't want to give up my baby. My baby is legitimate."

"I know," Jarrod said. "Your situation is different from what they usually deal with. But let me go to San Francisco and talk to them. If they can't help you, maybe they have some other solution to recommend."

"I don't suppose there are any other real options, are there?"

"I'm sorry," Jarrod said.

When she slumped even more and started to cry, Jarrod took her hands, and before he knew it, she had leaned into his arms. He was very uncomfortable with it, but he couldn't force her away. She'd had enough cruelty pushed at her.

They sat there like that for long minutes. Alice cried silently. Jarrod only knew she had stopped when she stopped shaking. He gave her shoulders a squeeze. "Why don't we head back to the house?" Jarrod said. "I'll go to town and make arrangements to go to San Francisco on the overnight train."

Alice nodded. "If you think that's best."

"Alice," he said, warningly. "I expect you to be at the ranch when I get back. If you change your mind about this and decide to go back to Hiram again, I expect you to stay until I get home and tell me yourself. No sneaking out. No messages left with the family."

Alice sat up straight, nodding. "I'll be there," she said.

XXXXXXXX

Victoria and Audra were not happy to see that Alice was still somber after her ride with Jarrod. When Jarrod explained to them that he would be going to San Francisco and why, they understood. Victoria said to Alice, "What Jarrod wants to do sounds like your best choice right now."

Alice nodded, "I know."

"I'll get my things together," Jarrod said. "I want to go in to my office in Stockton and do a couple things before leaving, so don't expect me for lunch or dinner."

"How long do you expect to be gone?"

"No more than overnight or maybe the next day," Jarrod said and he headed upstairs.

Alice watched him go. Victoria and Audra looked at each other. There was really no happy solution here, only coping. As soon as Jarrod was out of sight, Alice wandered off to the living room and just sat down on the settee, staring into the fireplace.

In less than half an hour, Jarrod bid everyone good-bye and took off for town. His first stop was at the depot to buy a ticket on the overnight to San Francisco. Next was a sandwich at Harry's, and he afforded himself a beer to wash it down with. There would be no social drinks at home this evening. He could afford the beer.

"You've got troubles," Harry said as he put the beer in front of Jarrod. "You don't drink here this time of day anymore."

"Sometimes I just can't give a client happy choices, Harry," Jarrod said.

"Ah," Harry said, understanding.

"This world is rough on women," Jarrod said. "Unnecessarily rough sometimes."

"Lady client then," Harry said.

"And I can't do much for her," Jarrod said.

"Does she live here in town? Maybe there's something somebody else can do."

"No, she's staying out at the house. I'm off to San Francisco tonight to see if I can figure out something for her there."

"Then don't look so unhappy. San Francisco is a city with a lot of problems, but they've got a few solutions, too."

Jarrod smiled. "I'm hoping to find her one."

Jarrod had made the mistake of not looking around the room when he came in. Back in a far corner, alone and drinking, sat Hiram Taylor, and he had heard everything Jarrod had to say. He knew Jarrod was talking about his wife, and as he listened and drank, Hiram grew more and more livid.

More and more.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Hiram Taylor had no trouble renting a horse for himself and an extra one he took along from the livery, and getting directions to the Barkley Ranch. The liveryman had no reason to suspect that he wanted to go there for any reasons other than good ones. Perhaps, in his own mind, Hiram figured his reasons were good ones. He was only going there to reclaim what was his, his wife. She belonged with him and nowhere else, and if these Barkleys were inclined to keep her from him, well, then, he was justified in doing anything he could do to get her away from them.

He rode up through the gate with no greeting or opposition. Since Nick and Heath were short-handed in the field, even the stable hands were out working. Except for Silas, the women were alone in the house when Hiram knocked on the door. It was Silas who answered.

"May I help you, sir?" Silas asked.

"You have a guest here, a woman," Hiram said.

And suddenly Victoria and Audra appeared in the foyer behind Silas. Then Alice appeared, cautiously, just at the edge of Hiram's vision.

Then everything happened very fast. Hiram shoved Silas out of the way – he fell hard onto the floor, down of the one step that led up to the door. Victoria and Audra both reached to try to catch him while Hiram stormed in and grabbed Alice. She screamed as he dragged her out the door. Victoria tried to grab him as he did, but Hiram kicked her away, and she fell back next to where Silas fell. Audra could do nothing as Hiram dragged Alice, screaming, to the extra horse he had brought. Audra ran to the door in time to see Hiram pulling Alice, mounted up, away with him, out toward the gate.

Audra turned back to see her mother helping Silas to his feet. "They're gone!" Audra cried.

"Go get Nick and Heath, right away," Victoria said.

"Mother, are you hurt? Silas?!"

"I'm not hurt," Victoria said. "I'm going into town to get Jarrod and the sheriff."

"What if they went to town?"

"They'll get there before I do if they did, but bring Nick and Heath here, in case they didn't go to town. Silas – " Victoria turned toward the houseman.

Silas nodded. "I'm all right, Mrs. Barkley. You go, go right now."

Victoria helped Silas up, and then she and Audra were both out the door. They saddled horses quickly, Audra keeping half an eye on her mother to be sure she really was all right. The right side of Victoria's face was starting to turn color. "Mother – your face – " Audra said as they mounted up.

"I'll see the doctor in town after I send Jarrod home," Victoria said quickly and took off before Audra could raise any objection.

Both women rode fast. Audra reached Nick and Heath within half an hour, explained what was going on, then let them ride home fast while she took it more easy on her horse. Victoria was in town not much later. Jarrod happened to be looking out his window when she rode up. He saw her urgency and ran down to meet her.

He also saw the bruise coming up on her face. "What's happened? Are you all right?" he asked as he grabbed her by the arms.

Victoria nodded. "I'm fine but some man came and took Alice away. I think it was her husband but I'm not sure. He didn't say."

"What did he look like?"

"Small, dark, moustache - "

"Do you know where they went?"

"No. I thought they might have come here."

Jarrod looked up into the street. How was he going to find them if they came here? "I'll check the livery and the train depot. You need to go see Dr. Merar, right now."

"I will," Victoria said, "but don't go too much looking around town. Get home to Nick and Heath. You might do better trying to track them."

Jarrod nodded, saying, "Go the doctor," and he took off for the livery stable.

The liveryman told Jarrod about renting two horses to a man who asked for directions to the Barkley ranch. He described the man and Jarrod knew it was Hiram he was talking about, but the horses had not been returned. Jarrod got descriptions of the horses and got his own horse out. He hurried to the train depot, but he didn't see the horses anywhere along the way and Hiram and Alice were not at the depot. Hiram hadn't bought tickets for the train, either.

Jarrod made a quick trip to the sheriff's office, explained everything and asked him to keep a lookout for Hiram and Alice before he mounted up and rode home as quickly as he thought his horse would bear up. All the way, he kept thinking, _I should have believed her. I should have seen this coming. She's pregnant, for heaven's sake. Of course she's going to be uneven and uncertain and I should have given her more leeway. I should have known all of this was going to happen and I should have gone easier on her because she's just been trying to outrun it_.

He got home to find Nick and Heath saddling fresh horses in the stable yard.

"I couldn't find them in town," Jarrod said first thing as he dismounted.

"Is Mother all right?" Heath asked.

"She has a bad bruise on her face. She's gone to see the doctor."

"Audra's getting you a fresh horse," Nick said. "We have tracking and riding to do."

Jarrod started for the barn, "Is Audra all right?"

"She's fine," he heard his sister's voice coming toward him from inside the barn, leading a fresh horse she had saddled for him. She also had his holster and gun for him.

Jarrod gave her a quick kiss in thanks as he strapped his gun on, handed her the reins to his horse and took the reins of the fresh horse from her. "Don't worry, honey. Mother is all right and we're going to take care of this."

"They got a good start on us," Nick said as he and Heath mounted up.

Jarrod mounted up, too. "We might be able to take it faster than they're taking it," Jarrod said.

"But we don't know where they're going, and it'll be tough to track them on the Stockton Road," Heath said.

"I'm gonna take a gamble they're headed for Grove Junction to catch the train there," Jarrod said. "Lancaster's a long way to go on horseback. Hiram may have wanted to avoid Stockton but still get the train."

"Whether you're right or wrong, Lancaster is still in the same direction as Grove Junction," Nick said.

"Let's go," Heath said.

They took off. Audra watched them go, running a hand through her hair. She worried for them. She worried for her mother. She worried for Alice. But for now, she had Jarrod's horse, who needed rest and attention, so she took him into the barn and began to unsaddle him, putting her worry aside.

They let Heath do the tracking, and he made sure to get as much detail as he could from the tracks leading off the Barkley property before they pressed on. Once at the main road, Heath saw the tracks he was betting were Hiram's and Alice's heading south, the expected direction. Grove Junction was directly on the road they would take if they were traveling on horseback all the way to Lancaster, but like Jarrod, Heath suspected they would not do that. All three Barkley men aimed to catch up with Hiram and Alice before they ever reached Grove Junction.

But how to be sure, given the speed they were moving, that they didn't just blast into them unexpectedly on the road? Heath volunteered to move ahead a bit faster, to try to catch sight of them before they caught sight of him. Knowing their younger brother was riding a faster horse than they were, Nick and Jarrod held back a bit and let him move ahead a quarter mile or so. They were all still moving faster than they hoped Hiram and Alice were, hoping that Hiram would go at least a little easy on Alice but not sure that he would.

The gamble paid off, though. After about forty-five minutes, Heath was coming back from around a bend, toward his brothers, who stopped as he pulled up with them.

"They're about a mile ahead," Heath said. "Stopped by the creek."

"What do you want to do, Jarrod?" Nick asked.

"Come up as quiet as we can, but flank them as fast as we can," Jarrod said.

Heath nodded. "I'll go left, Nick. You go right."

"I'll go straight on," Jarrod said. "Just look out for cross fire if he starts shooting."

"Let's go," Nick said.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"Stop here," Hiram had said as they approached the creek. "We need to water the horses."

They stopped and Alice dismounted. Hiram did not help her, but took her horse by the lead and let both horses drink from the creek. Alice tried to get there and get a drink herself, but Hiram pulled her away.

Hiram said, "We'll be at the train station in another hour or so."

Alice wrenched her arm away from him. "You're not going to keep me, Hiram. I will get away from you again."

Hiram moved right up to her. "If you want to keep that baby and keep it alive, you'll stay with me. You've got no other way to raise a kid."

"You don't want this child," Alice said. "And it's just your hurt pride that's wanting you to keep me. You're all about pride, nothing else. I don't think you ever loved anyone in your life."

He slapped her, but not hard enough to knock her down. "If you think that Barkley lawyer is gonna take care of you, you'd better think again. He's just out to make money off you, and it's not gonna be my money."

"I'm not expecting anything out of him," Alice said. "He's not my lover and he never will be. And neither will you, not anymore."

Hiram snarled a laugh at her. "You'll do whatever I want you to do, because you know what a hell I'll make your life and your child's if you don't."

Hiram turned his attention to the horses for a moment, and in that moment Alice started looking for a rock. She fully intended to hit him over the head and hoped she'd kill him, but the sound of horses made them both look up.

The Barkley men were there, Heath and Nick moving fast to Hiram's left and right and Jarrod moving straight toward him. Hiram let go the leads of his own horses, and the horses moved out of there, startled by the new arrivals. Jarrod dismounted as fast as he could, drawing his gun, but Hiram grabbed his gun and pulled Alice in front of him as a shield. Nick and Heath dismounted and pulled their guns too.

Jarrod took a step toward Hiram. Alice was trying to worm away, but Hiram had too good a hold on her. Hiram's gun was pointed at Jarrod, not Alice.

Jarrod said, "Give it up, Taylor. You're not going to get out of this."

"You give it up," Hiram said. "I haven't done anything but claim my runaway wife and no court is gonna convict me for that, especially when I took her from the home of her lover."

"I'm not her lover," Jarrod said, "but you're in no position to argue with us. You try to fire on me, and my brothers will kill you. You try to get out of here with Alice, and we will stop you. It's as plain as that."

Hiram glanced quickly side to side, seeing where Nick and Heath were, seeing they had him covered. He seemed as uncertain as ever when Alice kicked him and dove to the ground – and that made Hiram fire at Jarrod.

Jarrod dove aside in time to avoid the shot, but he landed hard, head first against a rock. Stunned, he couldn't even move. He heard another shot but was too groggy to know if he was hit.

Nick was beside him in a flash. "Jarrod – Jarrod, are you all right?"

Jarrod moaned, and the odd thing was that all he could think was _Oh, dammit, 35 is going to be as bad as 34 was_. Nick took hold of him and in a moment had him sitting upright. Still stunned, his head hurting, blood beginning to stream, Jarrod could still hear Alice, crying now rather than screaming. He heard her, and felt her and Heath coming close. Jarrod heard himself moan.

"We might need to get him to a doctor," Nick said to Heath as he took a clean kerchief to stop the blood flow. "How's Taylor?"

"Dead," Heath said. "I killed him."

Alice moaned. Jarrod said, "I'm all right," and tried to get up, but his legs buckled.

"Come on," Nick said. "Let's see how we can get you to Grove Junction."

"I'll get Taylor's body on his horse," Heath said.

Jarrod got to his feet, holding the bandana to his head, Nick holding onto him. He finally saw Alice, standing there looking at him, anguished, lost. He gave her a smile. "Alice, it's all over now. We'll start putting things back together in Grove Junction."

Alice just nodded vacantly.

XXXXXXX

"Ow!" Jarrod cried and reached for the spot on his head where someone was applying alcohol.

Nick's voice said, "That woke him up."

"Have I been out?" Jarrod asked.

"No, you just got silly for a bit," Nick said. "Taylor took a shot at you and you avoided it but you dove into a rock to do it, remember?"

"Taylor?" Jarrod asked, his thoughts and memories still scrambled.

"Hiram Taylor, Alice's husband," Nick said.

Jarrod remembered. "Where's Alice?"

"She's fine," Nick said. "Not hurt. She's out in the waiting room. Heath is taking Taylor's body to the undertaker and talking to the sheriff."

"Body?" Jarrod asked and tried to sit up, but the doctor pushed him back down. "Taylor's dead?"

"Yeah," Nick said. "Heath shot him just as he shot at you."

"Are you and Heath all right?" Jarrod asked.

"We're fine," Nick said. "It's you we've been worried about."

Jarrod sighed. "I'm all right."

"I'll be the judge of that," a new voice said. Jarrod hadn't even noticed he was in a doctor's office, on a table, and the man applying the alcohol was a strange doctor. "This was a nasty hit but it doesn't look like it cracked your skull. You got a concussion out of it though, I'll wager."

"Where are we?" Jarrod asked.

"Grove Junction," Nick said. "I already wired Audra and told her everything was all right."

"How did you get me here?"

"I held you in the saddle. You babbled a lot but you never got steady enough to ride on your own. Does the head hurt?"

"Yeah, it hurts. Can I get up and get out of here?" Jarrod asked.

"No," the doctor said. "I'm keeping you here for 24 hours to make sure you can function without falling over."

"Can I see Alice?" Jarrod asked.

The doctor nodded, and Nick said, "I'll go get her."

"You're a lucky man, you know," the doctor said. "You could have fractured your skull."

"My hard Barkley head," Jarrod said with a smile.

"I don't know if you got from being a Barkley, but yes, it sure is hard."

"Jarrod – "

Jarrod heard Alice call his name, and then she was there. He reached for her and she took his hand.

"Jarrod, I'm so sorry," she said, in tears.

"Shh," Jarrod said. "There's nothing for you to be sorry for. I'll be fine in a day or two."

"God help me," Alice said then. "Hiram is dead and I'm glad."

Jarrod looked at Nick. They shared a look that said if they weren't exactly glad Hiram was dead, they recognized a good turn of fortune for Alice when they saw one. Jarrod said to Nick, "Can I have a minute alone with Alice?"

Nick nudged the doctor out of the room with him.

Jarrod said, "Alice, I'm sorry I gave you such a hard time about leaving your husband again. I didn't understand enough. I was too wrapped up in what happened between us in Barstow, still too convinced you weren't serious about divorcing him. I didn't realize how difficult Hiram was."

Alice looked at him, almost apologetically, but she nodded. Then she admitted, "I suppose there was a big part of me that didn't want to divorce him. There were times – there were times I just wanted him dead. But I swear, Jarrod, I didn't maneuver you or your brothers into this. When I came to you in Stockton, I really did want your help in getting away from him, not killing him. I swear, Jarrod, I swear."

Jarrod nodded. "I believe you, Alice. I understand how complicated your situation has been – and since you're carrying a child, your feelings can get all twisted up. I didn't take you seriously enough, and I'm sorry."

"I have been very uncertain about everything, I know, and I've left you twisting in the wind a lot." Alice said. Then she seemed to think very hard and said, "Jarrod – you've always said you wanted the truth from me. Well, here it is. Before you got there, before he shot at you and Heath shot him – I intended to find a rock and bash Hiram's brains out. I really intended to do it."

Jarrod knew too well how intent to murder someone could eat at you, even if you didn't kill the man. He knew exactly what the shame Alice was feeling was like. "Alice, take my word for this, because I know. I really do know. Intent to kill someone can eat at you, but you still did not cause Hiram's death. Hiram caused his own death, whatever you intended to do. The shame will hurt you, but in order to deal with it – and you have to deal with it if you're going to go on and raise your child – you have to keep reminding yourself that you did not kill Hiram."

Alice seemed to understand, particularly when Jarrod said _if you're going to go on and raise your child_. That was more important than everything else now. But, "If I hadn't left him – "

Jarrod quickly said, "If you hadn't left him he might have killed you or your baby. You were in a bad position, but you didn't put yourself there. He put you there."

Alice sighed and got herself under control. "Jarrod – what do I do now?"

"You wait for me to get up and around and I'll take you back to your home," Jarrod said. "I'll help you get your husband's estate settled."

Alice moaned. "His men are not going to take kindly to me coming there with him being dead."

Jarrod didn't like hearing that, but if it was true, then it was true. "We'll deal with that when we get there, I promise you," Jarrod said. Then he was out of energy. He lay back and closed his eyes. "I need to rest."

"Don't go to sleep," Alice said. "Let me get the doctor."

Jarrod did feel himself slipping off, but then the doctor was there, speaking softly, saying, "It's probably all right for you to sleep, but the longer you can stay awake, the happier I'll be."

"Whatever you say, Doc," Jarrod said and opened his eyes again. Heath was there now, too. "I'm sorry you had to kill him, Heath."

"It couldn't be helped," Heath said. "I'm just sorry you knocked yourself in the head."

"I'll be all right," Jarrod said. Then he said, "I am hungry, though."

"Well, that's good," the doctor said. "Somebody get him some broth from the hotel café."

"Broth?" Jarrod said.

"Broth," the doctor said. "If you can keep that down, we'll see about breakfast in the morning. Maybe you can have an egg."

Jarrod groaned. He remembered thinking that 35 was going to be as bad as 34, but then he laughed at himself. It was way too early to be judging 35.

"What's that about?" Nick asked when his older brother laughed unexpectedly.

"Oh," Jarrod said. "A mid-life folly, I guess. It took knocking myself in the head to see things straight." He looked at Alice. "But now I think I have things right."

Alice leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He smiled.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Jarrod's recovery was not as quick as he would have liked, so Nick and Heath decided that Heath would accompany Alice with her husband's body back to the Taylor ranch near Lancaster. They left the next day on the train, and once the doctor released him, Jarrod opted to take the train from Grove Junction back up to Stockton, suggesting Nick ride home and take all the horses – the ones Taylor rented, his horse and Heath's horse – with him and get them where they belonged.

"You gonna be all right traveling alone?" Nick asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Jarrod assured him. "It's not much of a trip, but I'm better off not bouncing around on horseback."

"You're gonna be going down to Lancaster eventually, though, aren't you?"

"As soon as I'm better up to it," Jarrod said. "Alice will need help probating her husband's estate, and I get the feeling she's gonna want to sell that ranch and move on. She'll have the money to raise her child now. I hate to say it, but I've been thinking it, and so have you. Hiram being killed is the best thing that could have happened to her."

Nick had to agree.

They parted company as soon as Nick put Jarrod safely on the train to Stockton the morning after Heath and Alice left for Lancaster. They would both be home by dinner time, Jarrod arriving a bit earlier if there were no delays on the train, and there weren't any. Jarrod came into the house almost reluctant to take his hat off and show the white bandage on his head injury, but he did it, and got the immediate, "Oh, Jarrod!" from his mother and sister.

"It's not that bad," Jarrod said. "I just took a little hit in the head." Then he smiled at his mother. "It just matches yours."

Victoria knew she had a bruise on her face too, but you forget those things when your son presents his own injury.

"We thought you'd go to Lancaster with Alice," Audra said.

"Heath went with her," Jarrod said. "I'm not really up to that long a trip yet, but it should only be a few more days and I'll head down there to help her out with the estate."

Victoria took him by the arm and led him to the settee in the living room. "Is Nick with you?"

"No, he's bringing the horses back up," Jarrod said. "I took the train to avoid all the bumping around."

"Can I get you some coffee?" Audra asked as Jarrod sat beside his mother on the settee.

"Audra, that would be wonderful," Jarrod said. Then he looked at his mother. "I'm not having any alcohol at all for the next three or four days, until I'm sure my hard Barkley head is better healed."

"How are things otherwise?" Victoria asked as Audra went to the kitchen. "Have you resolved your feelings about Alice any?"

"We've made peace," Jarrod said. "I realized I wasn't seeing things from the point of view of a woman about to have a baby. One thing I remember from when you were having Audra and Eugene – "

"Oh, please," Victoria said quickly, remembering her own mood swings and sometimes unreasonable behavior.

Jarrod laughed. "You didn't know I was paying attention, did you?"

"You were 14 and 15," Victoria said. "I should have known you were, but at that point I thought you were more interested in girls than in any new brother or sister."

Jarrod laughed again. "Anyway, when I started seeing things the way Alice was seeing them, with child and enduring a bad marriage to boot, I understood her confusion and indecision. We talked. And with Hiram gone, one very big load of anxiety has been removed for her. I hate it when a man's death proves to be more beneficial to his family than his life."

"I understand," Victoria said, "and I hate it too, and I hate that I agree that sometimes – this time – that seems to be true."

"I'm hoping when I get to Lancaster, I'll find a woman more at ease with herself. I don't know how long I'll be down there, but I plan to help her get things in pretty good order before I leave her on her own."

Victoria wondered how that time between her son and his client was going to go. Jarrod was very professional, but something very personal had passed between him and Alice, in Barstow and here at the ranch and in Grove Junction. Victoria wondered what was going to happen once they were alone together, now that she was no longer married and now that they apparently had resolved their differences and made peace.

Her oldest had married and hoped that by this point in his life, he'd be raising children with Beth, but that was stolen from him. Now, he was taking on the trials of a widow, about to have a baby, for whom he already had complicated feelings. It was a sensitive place for him to be, in this 35th year of his life following an awful 34th year. Victoria didn't exactly worry about it, but she wondered.

And secretly, Jarrod wondered, too.

The End


End file.
